When it comes to dating and relationships, not every older woman is a cougar. Cougar is a pejorative term and denotes that the older woman is a cradle snatcher and predator rolled into one. Well that is a rather sweeping assessment of what is essentially a very complex and dynamic situation. It is complex and dynamic not because the relationship is between an older woman and a young man; it is complex because any relationship between a man and a woman is complex.
So if one assumes that an older woman is carrying on with a man much younger than her, because of primarily sexual reasons, one may be way off the mark and underestimating both the people in question. All aspects of a man-woman relationship- companionship, sex and financial security, are determined by compatibility, and that may have nothing to do with age.
Look we are not talking of an under age minor going around with a mature and much older woman. We are talking about two adult individuals who have a larger than usual age difference between them. If other than that they are perfectly tuned into each other then age becomes just a number. And it really isn’t any one else’s business to bother about it.
Popular culture has a lot to do with this foisting of the cougar myth. The whole Mrs. Robinson syndrome makes people either look askance or with suspicion at such couples. Then there is this Hollywood thing. If Demi Moore underwent extensive cosmetic surgery to make herself more desirable to her younger husband Ashton Kutcher that may have nothing to do with their age difference.
She may have done the same if she were still married to Bruce Willis. Similarly her later fall out with Ashton could have been for reasons other than their age difference. Don’t couples just drift apart?When Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes separated, no one attributed it to their age difference, because this time, it was the man who was older.
These are double standards and what is good for the goose should be good for the gander! But on a more serious note, why should the coming together of an older woman and a younger man even evoke curiosity? It is almost as if one needs to wage a battle afresh for the rights of older women and young men to date each other a la the fight for gay rights.
Why can’t people let adults decide their own affairs? For those who might wonder what brings such people together; the answer is, exactly the same reason that you and your partner got together.
There may be older women who are in it for power, sex and perhaps to deal with a middle aged existential crisis, but when it comes to dating and relationships not every woman is a cougar. The overwhelming majority of the women who fall for younger men, do it despite the age difference and not because of it. And always for the right reasons. So now you know.